Really Random Thursday 3/21/13

This time I found something in the realm of randomness and I hope it will entertain you!
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My hubby wubby and I celebrated Thanksgiving with another family. While I puttering around their kitchen I got caught up on the front of their fridge. They had pictures, of course, but they also had cartoons and other funny stuff. I liked one so much that I asked for a copy. Here's what I found that tickled my funny bone.

   How To Write Good

      by Frank L. Visco

1.    Avoid alliteration. Always.

2.   Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3.   Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

4.   Employ the vernacular.

5.   Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6.   Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7.   It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8.   Contractions aren't necessary.

9.   Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10.One should never generalize.

11.  Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. Profanity sucks. (sorry, phrase is for example only)

15. Be more or less specific.

16. Understatement is always best.

17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20.       The passive voice is to be avoided.

21. Go around the at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

22.       Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

23.       Who needs rhetorical questions?