Spring Quilts & Spoons

I am re-posting this blog entry from almost a year ago. I have just finished the flimsy that I am going to give to Quilty Hugs for Happy Chemo. You can see my post about it here. I thought that for today's Let Be Social I would share this with you. It's mostly about people who have chronic illnesses and an amazing piece, The Spoon Theory, written about how you explain that to others.

In the Spring this year, Quilting Gallery had its weekly "contest" with the theme of Spring Quilts. It's a fun thing to do every week. There is a theme each week and you can post a quilt you've made that meets the theme. During the week, anyone can vote for their top three favorites. At the end of the week, a winner is announced and a nice prize is given.

With the Spring Theme, I looked through my quilts. I don't have many quilts in my "body of quilts," so it was easy to look through all of them. I found the quilt below that is called Purple Hugs.

 With all the lovely flower prints, I think it definitely welcomes in Spring.

I made this quilt in Spring of 2012. We moved to our house eight years ago. The neighbors across the street became good friends. There was the Mom & Dad & P their adult daughter. P lives with them because they need her help in keeping their lives in order.

Close Up of Purple Hugs

Three years ago, P was diagnosed with MS. She was 30 years old. She has a great sense of humor and, more often than not, when she comes over to visit it is to laugh. She makes fun of herself and her decreasing abilities. She would hate me for saying this, but she is a model of grace.

When she got her diagnosis, I wanted to make her a quilt. Her favorite color is purple, could you tell? I started looking at patterns with an eye for ones that would be simple and quick to put together. I wanted her to have it soonest.

I went through my stash and started pulling out purples, greens, and pinks. I love purple and green together! I'm not a purple person, but I was grateful I had enough for the quilt. Some of the fabric dated back to my Aunt Marie's stash.

Since I didn't have the money to send it to a LAQ, I decided to tie it. I am always worried that someone will like a quilt less because it is tied. Silly me. It turned out beautifully.

P loves her quilt and mentions it now and again. I'm glad she does. She's a wonderful person.

Many of you, like me, have known or had friends who have chronic illnesses. There are those of you who live "up close and personal" with someone living with this. The two people I have been close to are my neighbor, P, and my mom.

I've written about my mom before (link above). She got breast cancer when she was 42 and I was just graduating from high school. She never fully recovered. The cancer just kept attacking different parts of her body. Twelve years later she died. P reminds me of my mom. Mom always lived on the sunny side of the street, even when it stormed. Her cancer robbed her of her immune system. It robbed her of her energy and ability to have a vibrant life. Hers is not an unusual story in cancer-dom or in chronic diseases.

Mom had to choose her activities carefully. If she decided to go shopping, or over to friends for dinner, take in a movie, she would be down in bed for at least two days.

A few years back I came across a touching piece written by a woman, Christine, who has Lupus. One day while having lunch with a very dear, long-time friend who asked her what it was like to have Lupus. After the years they had known each other, Christine was amazed that her friend had no idea what her life was like. She cast about for some way to explain what it was like to live with Lupus, then she had a brilliant inspiration. She picked up spoons from the table and used them to teach her friend. From that instance, she had found a way to describe living with a chronic illness.

The Spoon Theory stuck a chord with me because it described my mom. I have passed it on to many people in my life who could use it. Whether it be because they need to understand they're not alone or because people say "you don't look sick," I want them to read it.

I cannot download it, or print it, but I can give you the link where to find it. I hope you will read it. Maybe you:

• know someone who has a chronic illness
• had or have a relative who is dealing with chronic illness
• you've had someone tell you or someone you know that they "don't look sick."
• you get judged when you get out of your car after you parked in the handicapped zone
• have friends who are unsupportive because you can't come to the party, or go shopping, etc
• have a chronic disease

Pass the link on to someone. Read it for comfort. Read it for understanding of someone you know.

But, please, read it.

The Spoon Theory



Photo credit: Silver Spoon, by Believe Creations, taken April 6, 2008. CCC license

Wednesday's Miscellaneous Good Stuff

Here it is: Wednesday. Middle of the Week. Over the Hump Day. Half-Way Through the Week. Almost Friday.

For such an auspicious day of the week, only out-shined by Friday and the weekend, it seems that this is going to be the day of Good Stuff. Look here on Wednesday's for your serving of Miscellaneous Good Stuff.

We have a wonderful family living across from the street from us. My DH and I bought and moved into our house in 2007. Very quickly we got to know our "across the street neighbors." S & C are very kind and sharing people. They will help you at the drop of a hat. Their daughter, P, also lives with them. She's chatty, upbeat and great to talk with. She loves my dog, Miko, which makes her A-OK in my book.

About six months ago, P was diagnosed with MS. She is 31 years old. She has taken it with aplomb. She has said that she might as well take it with humor, if the choice is between humor and tears. She already has difficulty walking. She hasn't been able to stand comfortably for about a year. (It was a long while in getting a diagnosis). She falls frequently, had to remodel her bathroom to be able to use the shower. She falls out of bed. And this is just six months.

My Mom developed breast cancer when she was 42, two weeks before my high school graduation. She had a double mastectomy. She had radiation. The cancer just kept showing up in different places for the next 12 years. She never got better from that first attack, just went downhill. Radiation was still in the early years. They were just learning about pinpoint radiation. Ten years into the decline, she lost the use of her legs. It was radiation poisoning. There were times she'd go into remission for 6 months or so. When my second child was born, she was on chemical chemo.Right before my third child was born she came out of her last remission. She never got into remission again. She died two years later. The last two years of her life were horrific as the cancer invaded every part of her body: bones, liver, brain, every single part of her.

She took twelve years to die from breast cancer. She was 54; I was 29.

There were a lot of lessons she taught me. My neighbor, P, and my mom had the same thing in common. They were/are both upbeat. Mom would rather laugh than cry. She was always looking for the good in people. When she'd go into radiation, she'd look around at others there. She'd find the good in them and admire them.

P & my mom had another thing in common. They had to manage their energy, just like people ration out food, or budget. If Mom did something like go out to shop, or dine, or see a movie, she'd be in bed for two days after. For people with debilitating illnesses, like MS, Lupus, fibromyalgia, CFS, , etc. have this dilemma to face every day. What can they accomplish with what energy they have?

A few years ago, I came across an amazing essay, written by a woman who has lupus. Her very close friend asked her what it felt like living with lupus. With an extraordinary insight, Christine found a way to explain this to her friend called The Spoon Theory.

I have passed The Spoon Theory on to many people because of its insight and wisdom. I hope you will gain insight from it and pass it on to those you know.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/