Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A Cautionary Tale

Gather around, ye gentle quilters, and heed my cautionary tale. I have great hopes that none shall ever experience this nefarious deed by giving ear to me now.

I spent a year of my quilting life working on the Farmer's Wife Quilt with a group of women. We were making two blocks a week. Not only that there are 111 blocks. It was a formidable, arduous, Herculean one-year project.  These very difficult six-inch blocks, some having 50-74 pieces, took every bit of the two weeks for me to make. But wait, I also paper-pieced them. All those itty-bitty pieces. (If you've made a Dear Jane quilt, I apologize for whining. But, I mean, who would ever be crazy brave enough to make a gazillion four-inch blocks?)

When I had made sweated over half a gazillion blocks, okay--somewhere around 35--I put them up on my design wall to gaze at their glory. And to provide me incentive to soldier on.

Here is where the tale takes a mournful turn. I left the blocks on the design wall. Every day I would pass by the design wall and bask in the glory of six-months work.

One afternoon, as I walked into my house from a grueling day at work, I spied something horrific on the floor.
Horror of horrors, hubby's horrid cat had chewed off the corners of two of my blocks! In fairness I should attest that we had two cats in the house. One was mine, Newt, who never, ever chew on his beloved mistress' quilt blocks. It could only be the evil Cleo, my hubby's cat.

You can see the evil in her eyes.

I should have seen it coming.
 Avert your eyes if you are of the sensitive nature. Behold the destruction!

I think I'm going to extract every tooth out of her mouth.

After that, I'm not giving her any dentures either!

She'll just have to gum her food for the rest of her life!
I immediately called hubby at work and told him that he was lucky his cat was still alive!

I then concocted a suitable welcome home for my hubby. I found two cat stuffies and hung 'em high on the front porch. Then I made some crosses and little graves and put them in the backyard.

Then I drug that horrid little feline out and showed her the fate of those who eat my quilt blocks. She pretended to be cool, you know how cats are. But she's never touched another block of mine again!

I put on the funeral dirge and waited for hubby to come home.

And here's how focused my hubby is...he walked right in and didn't even see the cats! But I made sure he did. Oh yes, I made sure he did! Those atrocious (stuffed) cats suffered a fitting death!


  1. Oh no! I only have dogs so I just have to deal with the constant dog hair on everything! I think I'm finally old enough to appreciate the idea of living pet free. Only about 10 years to go.

    Your blocks are lovely by the way!

  2. No drama at our house... no pets. Sorry you were violated. Can you close the sewing room door to prevent the rape and pillage? I'd make sure there were no cats in there first.
    Maybe with the blocks left you could finish a nice quilt with plain blocks between... or a medallion of Farmer's Wife blocks and borders around... Amazing that the cat in question went for the more difficult to make blocks. They just know your buttons.
    The great thing about quilt blocks, they can be repaired...
    I guess your hubby's cat was put into your life to teach you patience... or restraint. LOL

  3. When my dog was a puppy, I was doing some chain piecing. I was working on finishing a nine-patch that my aunt had cut for me when I was eight. Thirty years later...my chain pieces are going behind the machine to the floor. I didn't know my puppy was sitting at my feet, chewing on the nine-patches as they came drifting down! I think of it every time I chain piece and I look under my chair. She's never done except that one time. She does troll the quilting room for little scraps on the floor to eat!

  4. Hahahaha! I am so very, deeply sorry for your loss but this post was hilarious!

  5. Your Farmers wife blocks look amazing. Although your post is funny, it must have been awful to see those ones ruined. I hope your husband's cat has learned it's lesson :)

  6. Oh no! Having made each of those 111 blocks myself, I feel your pain!

  7. I am sorry to laugh so about your post, but it WAS funny the way your wrote it. I don't, however, condone what that evil fur baby did to your blocks. I think I would take away some of her privileges - to kitty treats, or staying inside (if she normally goes out), or giving more attention to the other cat. Something to make her understand she was a bad, bad, cat!! Your farmers wife blocks are looking good though.

  8. When I first seen the damage... I thought perhaps it was done by a mouse - or a rat! But after seeing those eyes.... I have to agree. That darn cat! What ever became of those farmer's wife blocks?

  9. Replies
    1. You must be a dog person? I was all my life...then I met my husband. He is a cat person. When we married he brought a cat with him; I had 3 children and a dog. I let my oldest daughter get a cat. Then 2 more cats came along. My husband gave me a cat who I loved dearly. She died a year ago. I got a cat last July. At one point we had 3 cats and a dog. Our usual amount is 2 cats and a dog, which is where we are at now. So beware! You may become a cat person...just don't leave quilt blocks around them!

  10. I've kept the chewed up blocks so they won't feel the pain of not being in the quilt! Maybe I should frame them...and show them to the cat every once in a while to remind her of her shame!


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