Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A Cautionary Tale

Gather around, ye gentle quilters, and heed my cautionary tale. I have great hopes that none shall ever experience this nefarious deed by giving ear to me now.

I spent a year of my quilting life working on the Farmer's Wife Quilt with a group of women. We were making two blocks a week. Not only that there are 111 blocks. It was a formidable, arduous, Herculean one-year project.  These very difficult six-inch blocks, some having 50-74 pieces, took every bit of the two weeks for me to make. But wait, I also paper-pieced them. All those itty-bitty pieces. (If you've made a Dear Jane quilt, I apologize for whining. But, I mean, who would ever be crazy brave enough to make a gazillion four-inch blocks?)

When I had made sweated over half a gazillion blocks, okay--somewhere around 35--I put them up on my design wall to gaze at their glory. And to provide me incentive to soldier on.

Here is where the tale takes a mournful turn. I left the blocks on the design wall. Along with the Spiderweb quilt you can see peeking out from the upper left-hand corner. Every day I would pass by the design wall and bask in the glory of six-months work.

One afternoon, as I walked into my house from a grueling day at work, I spied something horrific on the floor.

Horror of horrors, hubby's horrid cat had chewed off the corners of two of my blocks! In fairness I should attest that we had two cats in the house. One was mine, Newt, who never, ever chew on his beloved mistress' quilt blocks. It could only be the evil Cleo, my hubby's cat.

You can see the evil in her eyes!

I should have seen the warning signs.

 Avert your eyes if you are of the sensitive nature. Behold the destruction!

I immediately called hubby at work and told him that he was lucky his cat was still alive!

I then concocted a suitable welcome home for my hubby. I found two cat stuffies and hung 'em high on the front porch. Then I made some crosses and little graves and put them in the backyard.

Then I drug that horrid little feline out and showed her the fate of those who eat my quilt blocks. She pretended to be cool, you know how cats are. But she's never touched another block of mine again!

I put on the funeral dirge and waited for hubby to come home.

And here's how focused my hubby is...he walked right in and didn't even see the cats! But I made sure he did. Oh yes, I made sure he did! Those atrocious (stuffed) cats suffered a fitting death!

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